Feeling Lonely in Your 20s? Here's Why You're Not the Only One

Nobody Told Me My 20s Could Feel This Lonely

Growing up, many of us imagined our twenties would be full of close friendships, exciting adventures, meaningful work, and finally feeling like we had life figured out.

Then adulthood actually arrived.

Friends moved away. People got married. Jobs became demanding. Weekend plans became calendars full of "maybe next month."

Suddenly you're scrolling through social media wondering why everyone else seems surrounded by people while you feel...alone.

If that's you, I want you to know something:

You're not failing at adulthood.

You're living through one of the biggest transitions of your life.

Loneliness Looks Different Than We Expect

Loneliness isn't always sitting alone on a Friday night.

Sometimes it's realizing you don't have the people you used to call for everything.

Sometimes it's feeling misunderstood in a room full of friends.

Sometimes it's grieving a version of life you thought you'd have by now.

Many young adults quietly lose the built-in community they had through school, sports, church groups, or college. No one warns us how much those everyday connections mattered until they're gone.

You Are Not Alone

Research shows young adults report some of the highest rates of loneliness of any age group. Yet because everyone shares the highlights of their lives online, it's easy to believe you're the only one struggling.

People may tell you:

"Just put yourself out there."

"Everyone feels lonely sometimes."

"You'll find your people eventually."

Those comments aren't wrong, but they often miss something important.

Connection isn't just about meeting more people.

It's about feeling known.

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Healing Often Begins with Understanding

If you've experienced rejection, betrayal, or trauma, loneliness can feel even heavier.

You may want close relationships while also feeling terrified of being hurt again.

That's not because you're "bad at friendships."

Your nervous system is trying to protect you.

Therapy can help you understand those patterns with compassion while helping you build relationships that feel safe and authentic.

What Therapy Can Look Like

Our work together isn't about forcing yourself to be more outgoing.

It's about understanding how your past experiences influence the way you connect today.

Using trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, CBT, DBT, and attachment-focused work, we'll gently explore what's getting in the way of the connection you're longing for.

Healing often starts by reconnecting with yourself.

From there, relationships begin to feel different too.

You May Have Some Concerns

"Maybe everyone else has already found their people."

It might feel that way, but many young adults are asking the exact same question.

"Maybe I'm just too awkward."

Connection isn't about being perfect. It's about being authentic.

"I don't even know where to start."

That's okay. You don't have to figure it out alone.

Begin Healing With Selah Counseling and Trauma Therapy

I specialize in trauma-informed, compassionate care for people ages 13-30.

I offer:

• Online therapy across Maine

• A gentle, attuned approach at your pace

• Tools to build safety, connection, and self-trust

If you're ready to get started, visit our therapy for teens or therapy for young adults page to learn more about my approach, or contact me to set up an appointment.